News & Insights

Source: Newsweek

Dear Newsweek, My name is Alicia and I am the mother of five amazing minor children and two adult sons. I divorced my husband 3 years ago, and due to Covid, things took much longer and we actually separated long before our divorce was finalized.

Anyway, while married I was a stay-at-home mom and home-schooled my kiddos. My ex-husband worked full-time and was generally uninvolved in day-to-day life. 

However, as time went on, I realized my ex-husband was causing a lot of damage to our children and myself. I realized that he was financially, emotionally, and spiritually abusing us, so I left.

He then made it his mission to punish me for leaving. He went on a smear campaign and isolated me from all of my friends and family. “Making things as difficult as he could so I would come crawling back to him”—his exact words.

Part of his revenge was to seek 50/50 custody, which he was awarded because at the time I was still afraid of him and easily intimidated so I was not able to fully advocate for myself or my children. Since then, it has been a battle.

All of the abusive behaviors that were present when we were married are still present now, but because he doesn’t abuse our children physically the court has done absolutely nothing to protect our children.

Despite him having [court] involvement four separate times for throwing our youngest daughter down the stairs, dragging our oldest daughter down the stairs and through the house by her arms, break-checking our youngest daughter so hard she had a bruised and swollen face for two weeks, and leaving our children in a whole other state with a woman he just met and that they knew for a few days.

His abuse is to the extent that his new wife left him after only being married to him for two months because she feared for her children’s safety.

Even still, the judge in our small town will do nothing to protect our children, or even order him to attend real therapy or parenting classes.

One of the most troubling behaviors that he regularly engages in is bullying our LGBTQIA+ daughter. He tells her that being a homosexual is as bad as being a pedophile. He tells her that she is evil and against God—he has even worked with his pastor to arrange very hateful anti LGBTQIA+ sermons. He treats her like a maid and cook when she is with him and makes sure to let her know that she disgusts and disappoints him because she identifies as LGBTQIA+ and listens to the band Ghost. All of this continues to wear on my daughter’s mental health and yet still no one will do anything.

He is treated as if he is a model father and the family court continues to turn a blind eye to everything he does. He uses his religion as a reason to get away with his abuse, stating that he has not only a right, but an obligation, to tell our daughter the things he does because she has turned her back on the Lord.

No one seems to want to hold him accountable and help out our children. He has blocked me from putting them in therapy, receiving immunizations, attending doctor visits, and taking medication. All because it’s against his beliefs and western medicine is witchcraft.

I hired a Guardian Ad Litem who found he was abusive and that it was in the kids’ best interest to be with me full-time and limit his involvement until he completed therapy and parenting classes, but the court also ignored that. I have spent THOUSANDS on attorneys and have only landed in the same spot every single time.

So now, I am hopeful that if I make it public how badly the County Court is failing our children, maybe something might be done for them.

As a healthy parent, he would deserve 50/50 time with our kids, but until then I don’t think he should get it just because it’s his “right.” 

Alicia, Unknown

Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.

‘Abusive Relationships Impact Self-Confidence…You Need To Protect Yourself and Children’

Lisa Pion-Berlin, Ph.D., is a licensed hypnotherapist and CEO of Parents Anonymous.

You are a very courageous woman to speak out about your family situation to expose the injustice and harm to your family. Do not minimize what that takes. Stop blaming yourself for not advocating harder because you felt so insecure.

Physically and psychologically abusive relationships impact our self-confidence and wear us down so we cannot fight back. Twenty-five years of research into “battered woman” or “battered person” syndrome shows this.

It is understandable that you and your children are in a very difficult and abusive situation. Your focus needs to be on going forward by continuously and relentlessly protecting yourself and your children.

First of all, insults, threats or bodily harm needs to be reported and documented with the police, schools and your own doctors. Clear and complete documentation cannot be overemphasized—print out and save every email, text and voicemail regarding any threats or evidence of abuse.

Also, make copies of all medical records and other entities for your file. Take photographs of the physical damage your children have endured. Make sure you take them to the doctor, as they take pictures and continue to make CPS reports.

It is brave you are making this public. So many parents are afraid when the courts and systems are not helping or protecting children. Make sure you have support for yourself. You cannot stay strong without seeking counseling and surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family.

Also, seek counseling for your children so they can deal with their underlying feelings related to these traumas. Therapists and counselors are mandated reporters. Prejudice and discrimination exist in all institutions sworn to help you protect your children from abuse and neglect.

Even though you have paid for lawyers, if you feel they haven’t helped, you can seek free legal counsel. You may also want to contact your newly elected congressperson or U.S. senators. Senator Stabenow has district staff to help constituents and she is a dedicated social worker and advocate herself.

Local politics are tough to deal with, but the safety, health and well-being of your entire family is at stake. Continue to reach out because asking for help is a sign of strength. You can also call the National Parent Helpline 855-427-2736, operated by Parents Anonymous® (raisingfuture.org).

‘The Safety Of You and Your Children Is The Number One Priority’

Dr. Faisal Tai, MD, is a psychiatrist and the CEO of PsychPlus. 

I’m very sorry to hear about your serious dilemma with your ex-husband. As the mother of five minor children, I am sure that you have your hands more than full and that this conflict only makes taking care of your family—and yourself—10 times harder.

When I hear about all the legal steps you’ve taken to try and improve your situation through the courts and government agencies, it is disheartening that you have not been able to make more progress.

As a psychiatrist, I also would strongly encourage you to seek professional assistance to safeguard the emotional well-being of you and your children. It will be fundamental to your health and well-being, and your quality of life, in the years ahead.

I would recommend that you contact the Child Welfare Medical and Behavioral Health unit for your local county.

Amongst many other resources, they will have a comprehensive list of support services across the state that might be of great assistance.

I wish you the best of luck as you continue to advocate for yourself and your children.

Date: February 11, 2023

By Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, ACSW, ACHT, CEO and President of Parents Anonymous

Becoming a father changes many things, but it does not make someone immune to stress, grief, loneliness or periods when life feels difficult to manage. When you are responsible for caring for your family and responding to their needs, it can also become easy to put your own needs aside or simply stop checking in with how you are doing.

That is especially important to consider during Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the suicide rate among males in the United States was nearly four times higher than the rate among females in 2024, at 22.2 deaths per 100,000 males compared with 5.6 per 100,000 females.

Numbers this stark are a reminder that our own mental health cannot always be the thing we get to later. Asking for help can matter long before someone reaches a crisis.

For fathers, seeking support when they need it does not diminish who they are as a parent or the care they provide to their family. It means recognizing that their well-being deserves care, too.

Read the full article

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) through the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) today added new peer support programs to the Title-IV Prevention Services Clearinghouse, for which all states can now claim federal reimbursement. The expansion advances the Trump Administration’s Great American Recovery and A Home for Every Child initiatives by equipping states with evidence-based resources to help parents overcome addiction, thereby strengthening families and reducing the number of children entering foster care.

HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., White House Senior Advisor for Addiction Recovery and Co-Chair of the Great American Recovery Initiative Kathryn Burgum, and ACF Assistant Secretary Alex J. Adams joined Governor Kim Reynolds in Des Moines to make the announcement.

“Addiction tears families apart. Recovery brings parents home and keeps children with the families who love them,” said HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. “Under President Trump’s Great American Recovery, we are expanding proven peer support that helps parents overcome addiction, strengthens families, and keeps children out of foster care.”

“Iowa is proud to be first in the nation to adopt new peer-support interventions,” said Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds. “By responding to addiction and supporting struggling families, we’re building a stronger America: one where recovery is real, every child has a home, and hope is never out of reach for anyone.”

Iowa is the first state to adopt one of the new programs that feature peer support interventions, having already updated its state prevention plan with ACF’s pre-reviewed model language to include these evidence-based approaches that help families affected by the chronic disease of addiction.

In January 2026, President Donald Trump launched the Great American Recovery to help struggling Americans find treatment faster, stay connected to recovery support, and rebuild their lives with dignity, purpose, and community through a coordinated, evidence-based approach.

“Peer support specialists are living proof that recovery is possible. Their lived experience is a powerful source of hope, connection and guidance for families working to overcome the chronic disease of addiction,” said White House Senior Advisor for Addiction Recovery and Co-Chair of the Great American Recovery Kathryn Burgum. “Peer support is a high priority for the Great American Recovery because it remains one of the biggest gaps in our recovery system. Iowa is the first state to take this important step, expanding access to these services to help parents and strengthen families. We encourage states across the country to follow Iowa’s lead as we advance President Trump’s vision for a recovery system that leaves no American behind.”

Family-Based Recovery and WRAP join two other programs that feature peer support already included in the Clearinghouse with a Supported rating, Sobriety Treatment and Recovery Teams (START) and Parents Anonymous.

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With state lawmakers back from their summer recess, supporters of the California Parent and Youth Helpline are asking lawmakers to make sure the service is fully funded.

Parents Anonymous, which runs the helpline, is asking lawmakers to set aside $15 million for the program in budget trailer bills already under negotiation.

Alvan Robinson, a father of six from Lancaster, said helpline counselors really helped his kids cope after a family member was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident.

“My family started to use the helpline just because we needed some more tools to help us navigate our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, and it has been monumental for my family to be able to be supported 24 hours a day, seven days a week,” Robinson recounted.

People can call or text the helpline at 855-427-2736 or they can live chat via the website CAParentYouthHelpline.org.

The helpline was not included in last year’s budget, so it is currently short-staffed. Data show 47% of callers get frustrated by long wait times and hang up before speaking to a counselor.

Antonia Rios is a mother of seven from Pomona. Her son experienced suicidal thoughts at age 11 and spent three days in the hospital. Helpline counselors talked him through the crisis.

“It’s not just a life-saving helpline. It is a safer space where an individual can call in and get the support they need without being judged, criticized, belittled, or dismissed,” Rios emphasized.

A study commissioned by the nonprofit found 85% of parents had a more positive or solution-focused outlook after contacting the helpline.

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California is regularly beset with disasters, natural and otherwise, which can take an emotional toll.

This year alone, the Golden State has battled more than 4,000 wildfires, struggled through record heat waves and more.

Lisa Pion-Berlin, president and CEO of Parents Anonymous, which runs the California Parent and Youth Helpline, said support is available.

“We are here to help people address their worry; create strategies that they think might work. We’re about helping them figure out what they need and then supporting their resilience in making that known,” Pion-Berlin explained.

People can call the helpline to speak to a trained counselor at 855-427-2736 or live chat on the website CAParentYouthHelpline.org.

Parents Anonymous also runs a community and family resource center funded by the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. The center sprang into action in June to help families affected by a huge fire at a cold storage warehouse in Boyle Heights, which left the smell of charred and rotting meat for weeks.

Adriana Recoy, a parent leader for Parents Anonymous in Boyle Heights, said the counselors helped her and her neighbors endure the chaos of the environmental and public health disaster.

“They’ve walked me through it and just made me realize some things that at the moment, because I’m in it, I can’t see it,” Recoy recounted. “I know the helpline will help you emotionally and help you navigate through these feelings so you can feel safe again in your city.”

Youth and adults are encouraged to reach out to the helpline whenever they’re coping with emotional turmoil, not just during community disasters. The free service is available 24/7 in 240 different languages.

Read the full story

by Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, ACSW, ACHT

Parents today are raising children in a world that often feels unpredictable. Rising costs, concerns about children’s well-being, social media, and a constant stream of information can leave families feeling overwhelmed. Many parents tell me they feel pressure to have all the answers while trying to help their children make sense of events that are often confusing and beyond anyone’s control.

These feelings are more common than many parents realize. A recent national survey conducted by The Kids Mental Health Foundation found that 97% of parents of children under 18 reported experiencing parenting-related stress, with 30% saying they experienced stress “often.” As stress becomes an increasingly common part of family life, emotional resilience can help parents navigate challenges more effectively while creating a greater sense of stability at home.

Parents cannot control every challenge their family may face, but they can influence how they respond to difficult situations. Children look to trusted adults for guidance, reassurance, and emotional support. When parents model emotional resilience, they help children develop the confidence and coping skills needed to navigate challenges of their own.

Emotional resilience is not about pretending everything is fine or ignoring difficult emotions. It means adapting to change, managing stress in healthy ways, and continuing to move forward despite setbacks. The good news is that emotional resilience is not something parents either have or don’t have. It grows stronger through daily habits, meaningful relationships, and intentional choices.

Parents are the most significant influence in their children’s lives. By strengthening their own emotional resilience, they create a healthier foundation for the entire family.

Here are five practical ways parents can strengthen emotional resilience during uncertain times.

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Some parents have pretty signs from Etsy outlining the house rules, from “Always kiss me goodnight” to “Never go to bed angry.” Others have a formal and official document that has been agreed upon in family meetings, while some have never discussed a single house rule. Regardless of which end of the spectrum your family is on, house rules likely already exist in your house, from not cussing or name-calling, to not wearing shoes upstairs, or maybe even just responding when someone talks.

But when’s the last time you stopped to really consider the house rules, and whether they need an update to help further improve the culture, emotional regulation, and even safety of your kids? Me either—with five little kids and no time, it’s the last thing on my mind. But, with a bit of thought and some tips from the experts, resetting with your kids on the house rules can be a game-changer.

We asked the experts, and here are the house rules they recommend to make kids feel safer at home, both physically and emotionally.

Rule #1: No matter how bad you screw up, help is always one phone call away

Kids are going to mess up, and even do super dumb things you never expected. As they grow up, those things might even have progressively more serious consequences. But they should know your reaction won’t change and that you are always there for them when they truly need it.

“The house rule that does the most for a child’s safety at home is also the one parents most often forget to say out loud, which is, ‘There is nothing you could do or say that would mean you couldn’t come to me,’” says Lisa Pion-Berlin, Ph.D., a licensed hypnotherapist, CEO of the nonprofit Parents Anonymous, and a mom of two.

“Children who grow up believing that certain kinds of mistakes or behaviors will hurt their relationship with a parent will most often stay silent when they need help most,” she says. “This applies to an 8-year-old who broke something they weren’t supposed to touch or a 15-year-old who finds themselves in a relationship or friendship that feels scary or confusing.”

Don’t wait for a problem to share that this rule exists. “Say it over dinner or at bedtime,” Dr. Pion-Berlin says. “Say it even after the small mistakes, because small mistakes are the rehearsal for the big ones.” The first time they test this rule out, praise them for telling you so they can see your response reflects the importance of the rule.

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A new study looks at the success of the national Parents Anonymous Parent and Youth Helpline and asks how other hotlines can make a real connection with California families.

Researchers from Arizona State University and the University of Cincinnati presented the results on June 9 at a sociology conference in Scotland.

Elizabeth Harris, faculty associate at Arizona State University and the study’s co-author, said data show the helpline makes a measurable difference for callers.

“We have established very clearly that people who call that helpline do end the call feeling more solution-oriented, feeling more positive than they started out,” Harris explained. “And it’s a 30-minute intervention.”

The study found it makes a big difference when counselors with master’s degrees answer the phone lines. They are trained in what’s called connective labor: creating the unique spark that happens when people see, hear and recognize each other in an authentic way.

People can reach the helpline at 855-427-2736 or visit NationalParentYouthHelpline.org.

Harris noted experts on the helpline take special care to make sure their referrals are well vetted.

“A huge amount of infrastructure work has to go into making sure that when people are referred to places, that they actually get help,” Harris emphasized. “Because there is no faster way to leave people frustrated than just turning them in circles.”

The peer-reviewed study has been published by the Design Research Society. The authors praised Parents Anonymous’ commitment to analyzing data from all calls in order to continuously improve the quality of service.

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Today at the State Capitol, parents and advocates rallied for the continued funding of what they call a vital tool for families in crisis.

Parents Anonymous hosted a press conference to call for sustained funding for California Parent and Youth Helpline in the new state budget.

The issue, depression, anxiety, bullying, immigration issues. We answer all those kinds of calls, texts, and we need this lifeline to continue. And so we’re seeking $15 million over The issue, depression, anxiety, bullying, immigration issues. We answer all those kinds of calls, texts, and we need this lifeline to continue. And so we’re seeking $15 million over The issue, depression, anxiety, bullying, immigration issues. We answer all those kinds of calls, texts, and we need this lifeline to continue.

Supporters of the California Parent and Youth Helpline are pleading with lawmakers to restore its funding after Gov. Gavin Newsom left it out of his May budget proposal, released May 14.

Last year, lawmakers initially approved the funding but cut it at the last minute. Parents Anonymous, which runs the helpline, is asking the legislature to commit $5 million a year for the next three years.

Lisa Pion-Berlin, president and CEO of Parents Anonymous, which runs the helpline, said the loss of state funding means fewer counselors manning the phones and longer wait times.

“We have a 40% abandonment rate,” Pion-Berlin pointed out. “That means that 40% of the Californians who try to call us, text us, or live chat, they abandon the call or the text because they’re holding too long because we don’t have the capacity to respond to them.”

People can still call the National Parent Youth Helpline at 855-427-2736, which gets $2 million a year in federal funds and can go to the hotline’s website. Trained counselors guide families as they confront a wide range of crises, including bullying, domestic violence and thoughts of suicide. Since 2020, the helpline has supported almost 130,000 callers and made close to 90,000 referrals.

Pion-Berlin argued the state should consider good mental health and emotional support to be a basic need.

“This program works,” Pion-Berlin asserted. “It’s the only helpline that’s proven that from the beginning to the end of the call, 85% of the callers feel more positive, more hopeful and have a solution-focused attitude.”

The program no longer offers online support groups but funds from the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health support in-person therapy. The legislature has until June 15 to approve a balanced budget.

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U.S. Rep. Norma Torres introduced the National Parent & Youth Helpline Act on Friday which establishes support and prevention, ensuring that parents, caregivers, children and youth have access to timely, trusted assistance to navigate challenges.

Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin joined CBS Los Angeles this morning to talk about the bill. View the segment below.

If you are interested in being an Endorser of the bill, contact Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin.